Do you ever get that feeling that your life is in transition, only you don’t really know what it is moving towards?
As I look out to the grey skies and wonder when I will see the horizon again from all the smoke drifting in from the forest fires, I sit and ponder, what’s next?
I ‘drank the Koolaid’ from all the aging well books I have been reading and took to heart appreciating the here and now and being extremely grateful for my life with ‘A’,
Yet…
I am still restless and looking for more. (Of course, it could be the Hormone replacement therapy I started last year. I still do not have the right dosage, but aging well and menopause is another story to be told!)
This unsettledness led me to doing more experiments and recently reading a lot of material on spirituality. The last book I read was: My Year of Living Spiritually, by Anne Bokma. Anne had a Christian fundamentalist upbringing, which she left when she was 18, but now in middle age was searching for how to practice spirituality without the dogma of a strict religious practice of following the church rules or else it is a fast track to hell.
It is an interesting read and each month she explores a spiritual practice and reflects upon what it meant to her. The chapter on psychedelics (magic mushrooms) is unexpected, haha.
Words of Wisdom from Author Elizabeth Gilbert (‘Eat, Pray, Love’, ‘Big Magic’, etc.)
My explorations also took me out to Vancouver to attend a workshop by Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of “Eat Pray Love’. The topic of the 2-day session was ‘Living Creatively’. Liz is truly a gifted speaker and it was like she was speaking my language.
Liz’s commentary focused on making decisions based on curiosity and listening to your intuition. She had a series of exercises and short meditations in helping me and the other attendees hear our own inner knowledge. It is powerful when you can hear your own voice trying to speak to you and whether this was just my vivid imagination producing the words that came out of me, it didn’t matter. It made me feel lighter and the attendees of the workshop were supportive and kind.
Finding Enchantment
One of the exercises was to write a letter to yourself from enchantment (a feeling of well being). There is a writing prompt and then you let yourself go and to see what comes up.
Dear (your name),
I am your enchantment and this what I want to tell you: …
For example, a few responses I wrote down were:
- I love being with ‘A’.
- I love being outside in nature.
- I love reading and hearing other people’s stories
- I love walking/running by water and hearing the waves, …
And then afterwards you share it with someone at your table whom you have not met before. There is power in sharing your thoughts and hearing yourself speak about enchantment. It lights you up.
Orchestrate Your Life to Have More Space for Enchantment.
Liz commented after the exercise, “that it is not what you hate that makes you stand out, but what you love. It is your purpose to orchestrate your life to have more space for enchantment. These items that you wrote down are your priority.”
I think it is a good reminder in the busyness of everyday life, to stop, reflect and make space for the moments of enjoyment.
Giving Yourself Permission
Another exercise I completed was writing a letter from the Office of the Principal to give permission to yourself to not feel guilty to stop doing things that bring you down or to let things go that aren’t right for you. Or on the flip side, start doing more joyful activities.
The prompt is:
(Your first and last name) has my permission to: …
(example – be happier than her family of origin)
These permissions are non-negotiable.
Signed by the Office of the Principal.
Afterwards you read the permission letter to a partner and then that partner chooses one item on the list that she thinks will bring you the most happiness and writes a note on why that was. It was really interesting the item a complete stranger picked for me. Guess what it was? …
Finding a Place by Sea
And the note from the stranger read,
When you shared (this item on your list) there was both fear and excitement in your voice and on your face that lit up. Although this could be a huge challenge, I want you to reflect on every moment of enchantment it will bring. The enchantment that will come from allowing your curiosity to take over the fear that could’ve held you back.
Best wishes,
Alexandra
It was so cool that out of the 12 items I read to her that she picked the one closest to my heart, but which I thought was impossible. So, telling!
If anyone would like me to facilitate these exercises for you, please let me know. It is really interesting to hear what your subconscious is trying to tell you.
Other questions you could ask yourself include:
- What do I love doing?
- Who do I love?
- What makes me laugh?
- What do I value?
- What inspires me?
It is also important to note that life changes and what was important to you in your younger years could be different now.
Having a Creative Mind Means Taking Action
Liz also related in an earlier TED talk a story about having a creative mind. Being creative includes most people on this planet. It does not mean that you have to be an artist, (you can if you want), but being creative is the energy our minds use in coming up with ideas, thoughts about our place in the world, or future plans.
Liz comments, “If you have a creative mind, it’s a little bit like owning a border collie. You have to give it something to do or it will find something to do, and you will not like the thing it finds to do.”
So, if you go to work and you leave your border collie unattended and unexercised in your apartment, you’re going to come home and find out that that border collie gave itself a job, and the job that it gave itself was probably to empty all of the stuffing out of your couch or to take every single piece of toilet paper off the roll, because it needs a job.
A creative mind is exactly the same. My experience with having a creative mind is that if I don’t give it a task, a ball to chase, a stick to run after, some ducks to herd, I don’t know, something, it will turn on itself. It’s really important for my mental health that I keep this dog running.
So give your dog a job, and don’t worry about whether the outcome is magnificent or eternal, whether it changes people’s lives, whether it changes the world, whether it changes you, whether it’s original, whether it’s groundbreaking, whether it’s marketable. Just give the dog a job, and you’ll have a much happier life, regardless of how it turns out.”[1]
I thought this was wise advice. This aging well blog is “my border collie”! Putting thoughts to paper and sharing it with friends is my creative outlet.
Here’s to learning, creating and taking chances,
[1] https://ideas.ted.com/fear-is-boring-and-other-tips-for-living-a-creative-life/